What is this?

Hi! I’m Beth Schaefermann. I own my own opinions and the creative content shared here. I am a Texan married to a German, Marco, and we live in rural Germany with our daughter, Fabienne, and our dog, Stella. I have a BA from the University of Houston in English, Creative Writing, and an MFA from Parsons in NYC.

 

You can reach me at bschaefermannATgmail.com.

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I’m thinking about blogging again. It’s been…what…almost a decade? Pretty much as long as I have been in Germany. Why did I stop? Good question.

Why did I stop…I guess there were a number of reasons. I grew up, got promoted, got married, had a kid. Life got really hard. I didn’t have the time. I didn’t want to run the risk of criticism or blowback on my career and relationships. I didn’t want to embarrass my future teenager. I disliked feeling like I was bound to be the person described in archived posts and not allowed to change and evolve who I was and how I saw the world around me.

Why do I want to start again? I like to write. I like to put my thoughts down in print. I am not so motivated to do that without the associated idea that someone, somewhere is reading it, likely my mom. I think I am happier when I take the opportunity to reflect. I look for what’s funny and what gives me joy in life so that I can tell you about it. I vent into space. I like the idea that if something were to happen to me, there would be a piece of me -of my history and ideology- available to my daughter in the future. I also like the idea that the same might be available to my future self when I forget my past selves that were different and are gone. I like to think about my past selves like dolls on a shelf that I can take up, hug, pat on the head, straighten their clothes, and put back, remembering that I have always hated them as much as I liked them.

Why should you care? You shouldn’t. I’m no one. I’m an invisible wonk. I’m the person you walk past in the grocery store who plays the role of extra in your life. Why should you read? You shouldn’t. I don’t like the actual you. I like the idea of you. I like the idea of someone reading what I write. I don’t like you actually reading what I write. I’m not writing for you, and I am not building a community around ideas or writing to sell socks.

This is simply about my day. On most days. It’s practically guaranteed to be boring. I want it to be boring. I promise to be boring. So go away and let me just pretend you are there so that I can write in peace.